CRIPES 4 GRIPES

I wrote a grumpy old woman piece a week or two ago which brings to mind my mother saying to me as a child if I cried that she would give me something to cry about! (those were the days eh?) and now sure enough I have something to whinge about. It happened thus: First I had a leak in my kitchen and rather nice Pete-the-plumber came along to fix it. A friendly chap we discussed the idea of me having a shower put in (taking into account my crumbling knees etc) so it came to pass that I had a new bathroom – and very nice too!

Unfortunately it compared all too favourably with my ultra tatty kitchen, so I indulged myself in a rather nice kitchen, not the full fitted job but a few units a new sink, some tiling (still pending) and of course new flooring – the last vinyl had been there for twenty years of dog abuse which must be a record of some sort. So I have ordered the floor covering and screeing (whaddat) I am sure you can see what’s coming – money: shortage of.

So, after 30 years with an iniquitous bank I decided to join an ethical bank with the object of getting a loan – I prefer to pay my interest to an ethical organisation. A very pleasant woman with lovely high maintenance hair and long glowing nails tapped out my details on her computer for half an hour then told me that I am too old to get a loan! 69 is the limit. (NOT soixante neuf I imagine!)

So, I must stay with iniquitous bank and while I’m about it I have decided to economise and forgo the loan. I have always affected to despise money – which hasn’t stopped me wanting it quite badly. The old hippy description ‘Bread head’ tripped from my lips when friends spoke of economies, of ‘thrift’ – a dirty word in my book. Trouble is, to be profligate you need to be rich and I have never been rich.

So, if you notice me being unnaturally stingy, please remember the parlous state of my finances and forgive me.

PS part of my roof collapsed in the high winds of a week or two ago and the jolly insurance assessor claimed it was due to old age of the lagging and not the wind! Ironic?

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